In the past year, many have said that I need to see a councellor, but I have decided that maybe this is the way I can express my deepest feelings and thoughts. If any of you know me, you know that I have the WORST luck ever, and not just in one particular thing, with everything! Whether it be vehicles, jobs, money, love, kids, friends, etc. I'm not exactly sure why my luck has always been so bad, but I have learned to deal with it every day. It's almost as if when something good happens to me, it has to turn around and make sure that something bad reciprocates. It really does suck, but I have gotten so used to it, I ignore it. My best friend said to me once that I obsorb everyone else's bad luck. Yeah, that seems about right!
It's definitely not easy when tragedy strikes and everyone you thought was your friends turn their back on you because they think that in some way, they are better than you. Well, I got news for ya, you aren't! To have people who have their own issues and problems point at you and and talk about you as if their lives are perfect is quite painful. There were several instances that I wanted to scream in their faces about the problems I knew they had, and what things they had done in their past had ruined their future and their kids' future. I mean, who wants to be in a wheelchair the rest of their life because their mom was too busy drinking to pay attention to her son? Or, who wants to grow up and learn that their father is in prison because he is a murderer? And yet, I am the one with all of the problems and I purposely put my child in harms way. Yea, you're right, you all know me SO well!!
I am definitely not perfect, but who is? I am bettering my life, and yet still being judged. For those of you who like to know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE here's the latest scoop on me! I work at a hotel again, I'm in school, I have my own vehicle and I share an apartment with my best friend. Not enough info for you? Well that's all you are gonna get because I don't feel as though any of you deserve to know what's going on in my life, even though most of you seem to think that you have every right to know everything.
I have never written a blog before, but I honestly think that this may be the best thing that I have decided to do in a long time. This may help my bad moods, and help me with my healing process. This post is a little short, but I kinda wanted to get the hang of it all before I started rambling on and on about what and who are bothering me.
"The future depends on what we do in the present" - Mahatma Gandhi
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